Monday, October 17, 2005

More adventures of Capt Caf

Another email from Mike at work had me reading as fast as i can. I couldn't wait to see what happened next. the sad part, i should already know this, it's about my life! hehehhe here ya go, this one's a long one :)

This reminds me of the time Capt. Caf went to take on the dreaded Magnus Wafer. This part of the story takes place not too long before the "Fall of Capt. Caf!" Saga, but after the "Let the gouda times roll!" wars. You see, Magnus Wafer was to the snack business what Wal-Mart is to the supermarket business. Being in such a position, he controlled much of the galaxy's wallet, making himself quite rich and greedy. When he heard of the fall of his minion Swissolf Cheesler, he decided to get even with the dreaded (among thieves, evil villains, and evil genius types) Capt. Caf! The scene, the City of Floating Marshmallows in a River of Chocolate (or just CFMRC for short... I know, they weren't too creative when it came to naming things. Which is why most of their children ended up being named Jack and Jill). You had come here in search of your friend, Jack Puff, in hopes that he would aid you and your allies with the location of the Free Thinker's Club. With the aid of the Free Thinkers, along with the remaining Random and Not-So-Random superheroes, you could take down the overcontrolling and evil Magnus Wafer. Unfortunately, before you had arrived, Magnus Wafer had bought Jack Puff's allegiance with enough graham crackers to turn CFMRC into Smores Town, forcing him to turn you over to the evil snack tycoon. Jack Puff eventually did turn CFMRC into Smores Town and forced his way into the position of Mayor. Despite the initial indignation of the townspeople at the change, it turned out to be for the better, and everyone was much happier, but since Jack Puff had acquired his power through questionable means, and since people who do things the wrong way never have a happy ending, he ended up being outvoted at the next election, removing his diplomatic immunity, and then was punished by being fed to a giant chocolate worm. Anywhozits, back to Capt. Caf's dillema. Magnus Wafer finally had Capt. Caf and her companions captured, but as they were being led back to his ship, Capt. Caf pretended to trip and fall to the ground, but only so she could get to eating away the floor (the whole place WAS made of marshmallows afterall) creating a hole through which chocolate began rushing through very quickly. Capt. Caf and the rest of her companions took advantage of the chaos that ensued and escaped, but Magnus, however, wasn't so easily fooled, and immediately pursued Capt. Caf to a Marshmallow generator where she had hoped to hide out until things calmed down, and maybe snack a bit. With the way CFMRC was set up, the running chocolate river would have destroyed it within a day. In order to prevent that from happening, they had to have people constantly working and adding on Marshmallow to all the floating platforms to keep them from disappearing. The factory was placed farthest upstream than any other building so that it could drop its Marshmallow load into the river, where it would be carried down by the river and grabbed by whoever needed it for repair/construction at the time. Well, since Marshmallow was a constant need for the city, it was pretty much an automated building. People would bring in sugar and fuel to supply the factory with power and material with which to create the Marshmallows. It would constantly work, and then after filling up a resevoir, it would automatically push the payload through a shaft that protruded from the side of the building over the river, then out onto the river itself, and begin the process over again. Well, as all superheroes and villains know, the most dramatic place to have a showdown between good and evil is on a precariously perched or dangerous battlefield. What better place to have a fight on then, than the shaft that stuck out from the side of the building. So, after agreeing to take the fight outside like any self-respecting hero or villain would do, Capt. Caf and Magnus Wafer both climbed out onto the narrow platform-like shaft. Magnus was a little scared at first, and so to get him out there, Capt. Caf took the lead and the more precarious position further away from the factory, only then would Magnus come out to fight. After realising that they both would have trouble fighting physically on such a dangerous place, they decided to bring the fight down from fists to just words. Despite the lack of physical pain, the two had a rather heated argument. Magnus, however, had a trump card, and when the moment was right, he revealed an awful secret about Capt. Caf's past. The conversation went a little like this.

Magnus Wafer: "Capt. Caf, join ME on the DARK SIDE! You BELONG here!"
Capt. Caf: "NEVER!"
Magnus Wafer: "But, Capt. Caf, I AM YOUR LOGO DESIGNER!"
Capt. Caf: "NNNOOOOOOOO!"

Capt. Caf got a little lightheaded from screaming "no" so loudly and for so long and accidentally lost her balance, falling into the river of chocolate in a dramatic fashion that would make any Cartoon mini-saga announcer start asking those dumb questions right before the show ends, making you wait an entire week to see the next part, like "Is this the end of Capt. Caf? And who exactly is this enigmatic Magnus Wafer? Is he REALLY the logo designer for Capt. Caf?" and then followed up with that oh so annoying "FIND OUT NEXT WEEK!" and then the show usually ends up being cancelled because you were the only one interested in it. But since this is neither a real cartoon nor am I an annoying cartoon announcer, you get to find out what happens now. It is NOT the end of Capt. Caf (DUH!) I've already said who Magnus Wafer is. And yeah, he is the logo designer for Capt. Caf, which adds to how it is Capt. Caf turned to the Dark Side later in the series. Turns out, falling into the chocolate river just encased Capt. Caf in a hard shell of chocolate. After floating down the river a bit in order to escape, Capt. Caf began eating her way out, and eventually made her way back to the Side of Flaming Random Pork N' Beans with a Pinch of Salt Club.

3 comments:

E.Marie said...

HEHEHEE these get funnier and funnier. the two writers for capt caf are fantastic. LATERS HUN

Shaleen said...

This is awesome...so, the river was novelty chocolate then? Yum!! ^_^

Su Chong said...

lol! I can't believe I read it all!=D

And I thought the word "Anywhozits" was funny and used very appropriately (if any of you spotted that word amidst the crazy writings of Mike)...I never actually knew of the word until now..hmm..one day when I decide to write really crazy stories like Mike, I will then insert the word "anywhozits" in my story.

Long live Capt Caf!