Ok, this post will make no sense to anyone except one. even for that one it might not because i get the feeling it's gonna be really random.
why do i get a sinking feeling?
why don't i wanna talk about it?
why do i wanna scream?
being demoted is REALLY annoying.
i'm obviously not that dangerous dizzy. i've gotten better, aren't you proud...(incredibly sarcastic and another emotion i hate to admit i even possess.)
i'm not special anymore. i don't like that, but then there's the other side.
i hate illogical kine.
it's kind cold
best i'll ever be...............stupid song..............not quite true, at least if i'm gonna be positive it can't be. definatly not for him.
i suppose self control is a good thing.
sleep is good. being busy is good.
i'm not sure of anything....
it sux to keep hearing from EVERYONE!!! that you're special, he's different around you, and yadayadayada... and in the back of your mind you keep hearing, don't get used to this, you know it's not true, it can't be true, he'll never really let that, that's one reason you like him, yadayadayada....everyone said it and acted like, oh who knows what they expected, for some it was the same story as their life, for some it's why they hoped would happen for them, for some it was just what was normal. whatever they thought i KNEW it couldn't be true, too many late night talks. too much logic. if that's possible. still i let myself be sucked into their thinkin, at least a little, it's hard not too! i heard it every stinkin day, even at home! and now what was inevitable, obviously, is now true. and i'll still be hearing it. you would think that old friends would understand best but no! they're just as bad. no one understands. that's what makes it so hard, no one else does this. i swear no one in the world, yet another reason, therefore no one gets it, except maybe my two sife buddies, except they are very selective on when they understand. i should shut up. i think i need a hug. Vegas will do.
current mood: very sad--such an evil emotion
About Me
- Kelsey
- I am a stay at home mother of one chubby little baby. My husband is a self-employed gunsmith. We like to be self-sustaining and hope to grow our own food in the backyard next year. We are also conservative.
3 comments:
Is it alright that it sort of did make sense to me? I mean, I can't say I know exactly what you are talking about, but I have a hunch.
Whatever it is, don't be frustrated at yourself for having a hard time dealing with this. Anyone else in your shoes would be affected just the same, and react in probably a worse way. You are handling it well.
Although women often do create issues for themselves and everyone else to suffer through, lots of times, the negative emotions we have are valid and you can count on the men not being sensitive enough to understand.
It's a good first step to admit that there is a problem. I think part of what makes this confusing is that you don't know what your "rights" are. What you are "allowed" to demand. Don't blame yourself for wanting something you aren't sure is yours.
What I would do is to talk about it (you probably already have, lots). If your feelings truly are important to him, then you will receive not just verbal reassurance, but an increased awareness of how you feel and a change in behavior on his part.
If he doesn't even validate your emotions and acts as if you're the only one with the problem and that there is nothing he needs to change, then he's a jerk and not worth your time anyway.
Another approach would be to talk to the 3rd party involved. Things could get ugly, but this is a pretty safe environment. People generally have good social etiquette here. I think it would work well, if you haven't already tried that.
Being unselfish is a great virtue, but before you can share, you first need to know what is yours.
I think you're being very mature about this and that is wonderful.
I don't know if I made any sense. If I didn't, disregard it all and just remember this: you are awesome. At least I think so. And everything that I say is a universal truth. Therefore you have no choice but to listen to me. ;)
*hugs*
Hey hun... I, like Fei before me, can kine understand where you're coming from. *HUGS* I have a song you should really hear. It might help you feel a little better. Also... were you venting lil bits this morning hun? It almost seemed like it however... Sarah and myself were sucked into Gilmore Girls land. And in which case, I hope you're enjoying your hike. I've heard it's amazing and it kine sounds like you need a good break. *HUGS*
Amen, I totally know how you feel. Well put if I do say so myself.
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