Saturday, July 09, 2005
so i've decided
ok so i've known this for a long time. I get sadder as the night goes on if i am alone. if i'm with ppl i can pull all nighters and not be accusded, however you spell that, of being depressed. But if I stay up all night on nani alone then i get a bit melancoly, just lonely really. missing home is all. i know i know, I am home. but not really. I don't think i really have a home right now. skool kinda is, and colorado is kinda too but ya know, home is where the heart is. I don't really know where my heart is. to tell the truth my head and heart are having a HUGE fight right now. i don't think they're even talking to each other. which gets confuzing trust me. anyways, i need to make a decision soon. it's hard to decide when your two halves aren't even talking. i think i'll think about it tomorrow. maybe someone will drive with me to the temple. it's so far away here, 45 min. i know i know i'm just looking for things to complain about. just a few more min and then to bed goodnight y'all
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6 comments:
Colorado? Where's that?! Nah, just kidding! Really. =)
Well, if you find your head and your heart aren't agreeing with each other, then listen to neither one. In fact, this is a good time to listen to what your mom and dad have to say..for me, more often my mom ;-) Guess you've already got the temple on the top of your list =) I hope you find your answer..
BIG BEAR HUG!
Kelsey,
I feel the same way! When I first got back to Utah I was DEFINATELY melancholy; even depressed! Read some of my old blogs. You may identify with some of the feelings. It's weird how Hawaii changes you. It's not you that has a problem, it's the Hawaii that's gotten into you. And I think it will be there forever. So it's good to find ways to deal because you will always miss Hawaii. I don't know what you mean by saying"[I need to] make a decision." Are you considering not going back to Hawaii? What are your other options. I am currently deciding whtether to go to Provo or Hawaii. If you go to Provo let me know. Maybe we can hang.
Anyway, It's way to late here (Utah). We're close you know. We could hang out here! Think on that.
Have a nice night,
Davey O.
(801) 628-7467
the_goosemaster@hotmail.com
How many people are going to provo in fall? I would like to know as I'm RIGHT here! haha. throw me a line.
Hey girlie... don't worry about the complaining. We all get to that place at times. I mean, I was ready to head home part way through being sick that week after my family left. Heavenly Father won't abandon us to these awful feelings. Besides, I substituted friends and all I had grown to love about Hawaii for computer games and the online life. Adjustments are hard. I've discovered that once I left home the first time, I never really had a true home anymore.
It's when you get to that point that you realize how much of a leap you need to take toward being an adult even though you may not want to or aren't ready to make that change yet. So much more responsibility, so much more flux and uncertainty... scares me spitless everytime I take moments to think about this change. Be strong... things will cause confusion as those that you've grown close to come and go. Know that the friendships and love will never die or disappear.
With effort and love, nothing will die out or loose touch. Also, the two parts that are separate will become one with effort and love.
*hugs*
Mike, you're silly. P.S. Bad news about the trip. I'm probably not going cuz my step dad just got diagnosed with cancer. Talk to you later.
Good luck hun. I've been going throught the same emotions lately myself. *hugs*
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